What do you do when you struggle to connect to a Kindred?
After several public rituals with my local grove, I found myself struggling to connect to the Ancestors on a personal level. Death, has avoided my tiny close family thus far and I see no ancestors of blood in my mind and heart when it comes to offerings to Ancestors.
Ancestors of spirit; people of the past that inspire me, historical figures, famous people passed on also leave me feeling disconnected. Sure I can imagine people in the news this week who have been lost to violence, tragedy or accidents, but it all feels...superficial sometimes. I wanted to feel more.
So I decided to explore the Ancestors of the land and a whole world of emotions flooded through me. Remembering that the Native peoples of this land thrived thousands of years before European contact and how they worshiped the land in similar ways that I do now. How their polytheistic religious structures are similar to my own beliefs and how easily forgotten these people have become. This is the sort of connection and respect I had been missing with the Well. I sacrifice with respect to keep their cultural history alive. I decided to explore deeper into American Pre-history and actually decided to take a college class on the subject and week after week I find new meaningful respect for the ancient peoples of this land. This class ended up being one of the most valuable classes to me both academically and spiritually.
I have grown up to a family that has always said I have Native American blood and this past year my family and I had DNA ancestry testing done only to discover that those claims are completely false. I do not, in fact, have Native American blood BUT that did not diminish my respect or admiration for Native peoples whatsoever. In fact, that little detail did not affect anything. The class I took opened my eyes to Arctic Peoples, to the tremendous importance of the Native Americans along the NW Coastline (Where I live!!!) and to so many other regions I had not taken the time to study before. I learned about adaptations to climate and to Europeans both in antiquity and today. It really deeply moved me.
I may not see a loved one's face when I make an offering to the well, but I do see the indigenous people's bones buried deep in the ground beneath my feet. I feel their love for the land I also call home. I hear their spirits still speaking among the trees, I wont forget. Ancestors of this land, you have my deepest respect, most sincere apologies, and I welcome our growing relationship and make offerings to keep your memory alive.