Shadow Work Meditations Written by Me: Howl at the Moon

Get comfortable sitting or lying down.
Take a deep breath and close your eyes.
Breathe in deep, and exhale fully.
Shake out your wrists and shoulders, wiggle your toes and feel them relax.
Breathe out any stress you have and breathe in tranquility
Feel your body release its tension with each deep breath out you take
Feel your body calm with each deep breath in
Breathe deep, In and Out.

You find yourself outside in a meadow as the sun is setting across the horizon.
You wiggle your toes in the cool moist grass
You smell the earth and feel a gentle breeze kiss your skin.
The sky is full of colors. Take a moment to bask in your sunset.
 *pause*

As the sun sets, you begin to walk forward through the meadow and into the forest. Everything around you darkens as the trees block out the last bit of light before plunging your world into the darkness of night.

You hear a loud howling in the distance. You aren’t afraid but you know that wolves are nearby.

You continue to walk barefoot through the forest until you reach a Cliffside with large boulders all around. You raise your head high and look at the rising moon. It is full and bright.

From behind you, you hear a twig snap and you turn your head back to the forest. Before you is a large wolf. The wolf does not seem threatening. You do not move, but the wolf comes forward towards you.

You carry emotion in your stomach but not fear of the wolf’s teeth. This is the feeling of jealousy.
A wild animal, this wolf acts on instinct. This animal meets its needs without over thinking, judging, or dismissing and everything it does. The wolf is free and you feel caged under the pressures that are being human. 

*pause*

The wolf moves forward, walking past you and jumps onto one of the boulders facing the cliff’s edge. It looks majestic and powerful.

You begin to feel anger rise up in you unexpectedly

This animal is free to roam where it pleases, to run, to hunt, to mate and your freedoms are confined to expectations, routines you hate, and social barriers or insecurities. 

*pause*

The wolf lets out a loud howl at the full moon  and it echos in your bones.

You feel more emotion stirring within you, you feel a pull, you feel excitement. That howl made your palms sweat and your heart beat faster. You feel adrenaline coursing through your blood. 

The wolf lets out another loud howl, and it awakens a fire in your heart. Your heart beats even faster and you feel your ears and cheeks flush.

*Pause*

The wolf turns its head to you and meets your gaze. Then turns back to the moon. Then back to you. You realize it is speaking to you. Beckoning you to join it.

You walk forward to your own boulder and climb up upon it.

From your place upon the rock you feel a strong wind and it whips your clothing about your body.
The wolf lets out another howl and you cannot resist letting out your own.

Howl.

*pause*
You feel a tension in your body release. But you feel rather insecure about the sound of your voice. You sound nothing like the wolf. You are not as loud or powerful. What business do you have copying this majestic animal? The wolf looks back at you meeting your self-doubting gaze. Then nods his head as if encouraging you to howl louder.
It howls again and you fight that insecurity within your stomach, increase your volume and howl again.
Howl again. Howl to release your self judgment. You try not to over-think it, you just let it go.
*Pause*
Releasing that insecurity up to the moon, you remove that weight, you no longer feel jealousy of the wolf.

The wolf meets your gaze again and this time it’s intense eyes seem to look right through you. It makes you feel vulnerable and exposed. Did the wolf expect you to howl louder? Is the wolf disappointed in you? The feeling grows. This feeling reminds you of all the social environments where you said the wrong thing at the wrong time. You feel like the expectations are too high for someone who was not born a wolf.
*Pause*

The wolf turns and howls again at the moon. This time you will demonstrate just how loud you can be!
Howl with all your heart, from deep within the pit of your stomach. Feel your throat vibrate as you let the sound flow across your tongue.

*Pause*

Releasing your expectations up to the moon, you remove that weight, you no longer feel anger at the wolf.

The wolf looks at you again and nods its head. You feel a sense of pride from the wolf and also within yourself. It hops down from the boulder and you watch it walk back into the forest without another glance back.

You turn back to the moon, the wind still throwing itself at you and you feel the overwhelming urge to howl one final time.
On your own.
Without encouragement.
Just for you

Howl for yourself. Howl for all the things you want. Howl to release all the things you need to let go. Howl for the pain you have experienced, and the pressures you have faced. Howl like no one is listening. Howl because you are alive.
Howl to the moon with everything you have

*pause*

Your throat dry, your face wet from tears in letting so much out at one time. You look up at the moon again. It remains bright and full. You released so much and yet it is still there for you.
Breathe in the crisp air and feel the wind that still blows despite everything you have released into it
Nature embraces your honesty, your rawness.

Climb down the boulder and begin to walk back through the forest. You have no trouble finding your way.
Think how much insecurity you started with before you began to howl. Think of your jealousy and anger. Have those changed since meeting the wolf?
Continue walking through the forest and back to the meadow. Turn and face the moon a final time as you say goodbye.
*Pause*
Soon you begin to hear the sounds around the where you physical body waits. Wiggle your fingers and toes and feel where you are sitting or lying. When you are ready, open your eyes.

• Written by Amber Araneae, Columbia Grove ADF, 2019