Shadow Work Meditations Written by Me: Unlock the Shadow Warrior

Get comfortable sitting or lying down.
Take a deep breath and close your eyes.
Breathe in deep, and exhale fully.
Shake out your wrists and shoulders, wiggle your toes and feel them relax.
Breathe out any stress you have and breathe in a sense of openness.
Breathe out your insecurity or intimidation and breathe in opportunity.
Breathe deep, In and Out.

While you breathe, you feel yourself begin to shift from where you sit. You feel light and buoyant despite your body being stationary.
You feel yourself flicker from a solid form into a transparent mist.
One moment solid, the next moment, soul.
Take a moment to feel your mist. What color is it?
*Pause*
This mist grows thick within your heart. This delicate sense feels warm and positive. You feel your heart expand, bathing your buoyant mist with your essence. You feel your soul reflected with a brilliant bright light that feels comfortable and safe.
 This essence is part of you. It is your hopes, it is your dreams. It is your love for your family and friends. It does no harm and it tends to all wounds with a gentle touch. This light is everything that you are proud of in your life. Your achievements, your hard work and all things that make you smile wide and your heart beat with a rhythm of joy and happiness.
Your mist, this light that is you, continues to rise from your heart. Through your shoulders, through your neck, through your head, and rests within the folds of your mind.
 *pause*
The bright mist envelops the cavity of your mind. Everything it touches reflects its brilliance. The person that you are, the person you show the world glows when touched by the mist of your soul.

But…

There is one area of your mind that will not glow. It remains in shadow. This place is cold as ice, and in the center is a locked chest surrounded with thorns.  What does this chest look like?

*pause*

Your mist begins to form a shape. The shape of your body and you notice you are holding the key that can unlock this box. It is ornate and unique.
You are still glowing bright. You carry confidence and positivity. You carry safety and love. What harm could come from opening this box?

You walk forward and turn the key.

Out from that chest springs a shadow. A shadow that quickly forms a mirror of your body. Standing right in front of you. It is holding a weapon, prepared for battle and it is growling at you. Before you can process this shadow form, it attacks you with the weapon. Impulsive and without hesitation.
*Pause*
Your light is wounded…it flickers and fades. You sink to the floor of your mind in complete shock.
 *Pause*
The shadow grows across your mind as the other you continues to attack.
It screams at you.
I am everything you despise.
I am all the rules, the laws you want to break.
I am violence and anger, I am wrath and hatred.
I am depression, I am fear.
I am the darkness that wants to destroy and rip everything to shreds.
I am the murderer in your mind.
I feel no guilt. I feel no shame.
I am the child that wants to kick and scream.
I am the teenager that wants to steal and give into impulses
I am the adult who would run away in a heartbeat. Who would cheat on my partner, who would
I am everyone who you have abandoned and hurt
I am everything you have ever felt ashamed of.
I will destroy the world and do exactly what I want. I am stronger than you because you have kept me locked up for so long.

…Wounded, you look at yourself, at your wild eyes.

*pause*

Your shadow is fierce; it wants to take control of the mind. It would be so easy to let it. You have let out everything you have ever tried to avoid thinking about and you are weak.
You cannot let it win by giving up. Your soul cannot turn dark. You have given the shadow everything it needs by avoiding everything it is. The only way to save your mind is to remove some damage you have locked away. Will you face your shadow? Will you use your strength to remove its power by taking some of it’s damage within yourself?
*pause*

Your light focuses on one part of that pain and hurt you have locked away. Just one thing. One memory. One shameful moment of guilt that you have given to your shadow.
If you can remove one aspect, one part of your shadow by accepting it, by recognizing that it is part of you too, you know you can grow stronger and it will grow weaker. What one thing are you willing to face and accept? What can you forgive?
Try to fight back. Don’t take on anything you know you cannot handle right now take something that you can attempt at forgiving yourself for.

*Long pause*

A dark mist rises from your shadow self and travels to your light form. It meets you and dances around you. It mixes with you feel stronger than before despite how much it hurt before and how much you wanted to lock it away. You have faced a something you have avoided for so long. Even if it is not fully healed, you have tried. You have acknowledged, and by doing so, you have unarmed the shadow form.  
The shadow warrior looks at you. Its eyes less wild than before. You meet the gaze with your light. 
You realize that when you were only focused on the light, you were vulnerable to attacks from the outside. You were too soft. You realize that when you are all dark, you were all chaos. The shadow warrior was too dark.
But when you faced the shadow, when you took some of its pain and accepted it as part of you alongside the good, your light warrior was born.
Balance was everything

You did not defeat the shadow. To do so would turn you to shadow in its place. But you faced it when you had avoided it for so long.

Having disarmed the shadow, you can place it back within the box for now. You do not need to take on every part of its pain at this time. Place the shadow back and come to it another day. It does not fight back. Not right now. You have taken some of it away within the light and proved yourself capable of facing yourself fully. You look back down at your key. Allow yourself to lock the box again.

Your light form turns back to mist. It has not dimmed, but it has grown wiser. Allow your mist to feel accomplished. It is no small feat to face your shadow warrior. You both still exist, and both warriors are important and valid.
Despite the battle, recognize that your light still travels to your heart and your heart still accepts you. You are not damaged or tarnished. You are strong. Release any judgment you have of yourself and let yourself feel proud of your actions.
Allow your heart to calm you and help you relax. Breathe deep and allow yourself emotion.

Continue to Breathe and when you are ready, hear the sounds around your physical body. Feel where you are sitting or lying down; wiggle your fingers and toes. When you are ready, open your eyes.

• Written by Amber Araneae, Columbia Grove ADF, 2019